You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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