AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
