Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize