I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
