using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
