he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
