It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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