He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His nipple licking is glorious
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