I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
