my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
