Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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