You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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