She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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