Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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