glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
