Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
