You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Two words: blizzard sex
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
