Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
