I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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