I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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