dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
