I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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