How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
