Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
