Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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