do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
