if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
