i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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