we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
