New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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