were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
