Where did you get a picture of my penis
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
im six kinds of drunk right now
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
