If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
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I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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