Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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