did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
