It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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