What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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