The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
