So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
