if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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