are you still at the devil's house?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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