So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
