the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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