Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
