I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
whose ass print is on the piano?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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