So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
