just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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