STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
