so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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