So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
