She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
