yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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