i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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