Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Oh god it's open bar.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
