I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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