sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wish my penis had a tongue
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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