No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
