the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
