your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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