She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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