I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize